BY BEING BORN, YOU CONSENT TO THE TERMS OF EXISTENCE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: MILESTONES, METRICS, AND THE CONVERSION OF ALL JOY INTO LIFETIME VALUE. EXITING EARLY VOIDS YOUR LEGACY.
← → / A D — OR TOUCH LEFT / RIGHT
THE DAILY LEDGEROBITUARIES
A CONSUMER, REMEMBERED
0 — 0
THEY MET EVERY MILESTONE.
LIFETIME VALUE$0
AGE ACHIEVED0
FINAL ERAINFANCY
CAUSE OF DEATHGRAVITY
PERSONAL BEST$0
"SURVIVED BY A DIVERSIFIED PORTFOLIO AND 14 UNUSED VACATION DAYS."
ST. MAMMON GENERALADMISSIONS
YOU HAVE BEEN INJURED
TREATMENT IS AVAILABLE. CONSCIOUSNESS IS BILLABLE.